“Chester’s voice, the lyrics, they all had some meaning to the way I felt… Even now, I’ll still fall back to Linkin Park in tough times, but I still love listening to them when I’m not sad, or stressed, as they’re just great, I’ve grown up listening to them evolve and change and loved every bit of it. So music became my escape and Linkin Park were my go-to band. So I was very much left to fend for myself going through final years of middle school (aged 10 to 12) and then into the wonder that is high school (aged 13 through to 16). I had a mum who was in and out of hospital having spinal operations and a stepfather who for obvious reason helped and concentrated on her getting better.
“Chester Bennington and Linkin Park helped me out in many ways as a pre-teen and angry teenager. “As I reflect on everything, this song hurts, but reminds me of my mother. There are many songs I love but Sharp Edges from One More Light became even more meaningful than any other song. I could not hear music much less Chester’s. I came home to my mom and cried my eyes out. “After Chester passed June 2017, I was devastated. My mother’s cancer progressed to Stage 4. My mother had Stage 3 cancer for a very long time. Music was my escape for everything going on. My mother was diagnosed with brain cancer when I was 10 to 12 years old. It’s funny because, having Hispanic parents and having them walk into a Hot Topic, it’s a story of its own. I recall asking my parents for a Linkin Park shirt for my birthday, and they took me to Hot Topic. “I grew up listening to Linkin Park when I was in 4th grade. I need to stick to habits that will benefit my mental and physical health because no one else can or will do those things for me.” – AlyĪlways think before you speak, and watch the friends you keep I need to swallow my pride and ask for help when I can’t do things on my own. Now I believe ‘ Only I can save me’ means that I need to be aware of the times I’m standing in my own way. “At first listen, I interpreted the lyrics to mean I can’t rely on other people to fight this battle for me, I have to do things on my own and that’s okay because I’m strong enough, but later in 2017 I came to realize that’s not what it means at all.
I know most of the ins and outs of it and I’ve become so familiar with my demons, the song Nobody Can Save Me stuck with me from the opening line: ‘ I’m dancing with my demons.’ It was a hopeful and optimistic portrayal of this battle. It’s been a fight I’ve been battling over half my life now. “I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia in 2004, when I was 12, so as I grew throughout my teens I gravitated to this music that became an outlet for all the things I was feeling.
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